gap..

restless at night.. hmm woke up to c the darkness and a glass of water.. took a sip and adjusted pillow and laid again with eyes still open.. thinking whats that I am thinking about.. started a chain of thought whom I met in morning then what did in lunch time and then struggled to crack few deals.. shook head n switched on the night lamp.. got up and sat on bed side with legs down.. looked upto the ceiling and took a deep sigh.. rubbed eyes and opened the door of a balcony and looked the shimmering lite coming from the long lamp post. Cool breez made feel fresh and a thought came in a mind call a oldie friend.. don't have number.. surfed the damn phone .. got into messages..started reading them all.. deleted few and now the breez got chilled.. came in again to the bed side chair and sat..looked at the posters on wall and pictures on table. Got a thought of your love for a second but realized she is gone.. took a deep breath and started the laptop.. waited to get the login screen ..entered password and opened Facebook.. checked few msges and closed. stared at the screen till the screensaver shook me up.. gone bad to the bed and closed eyes and tried to sleep.. kept on thinking god knows what and slept.. woke up early in morning and again the same crowded life.. giving new set of thoughts daily for the time u spend alone in deep dark silence...

However..

The night is deepening into soulful silence,
However..
Birds are flying back to where ever they belong to,
However..
Heaviness on the chest, tied as if never get a change to be free,
However..
Lost into thought of What. When. and How.,
However..
Crest of aloof loneliness,
However..
Crowed keeping the mouth shut,
However..
Struggle is the key to the lock of success,
However..

However is a sense of hope, However!

I need more..

Plesent Friday evening at club sipping a coffee in my cafe and enjoying the songs while boys play snooker. Cool breez in my hair makes me think is this the same i dreamt of? No, boy there is more to come. Rokcyf international is on cards, burning mid night oil to become a builder, after a long stretched afternoon works finally got the MOU done. I have a land now and soon that will become a reality with a dream homes of few. Happy not for becoming a builder but the sense for satisfaction while I give home to few people. Business mind, Money oriented, Positive, Egoist is what people think is Neeraj..Wrong, Neeraj is one who keep walking no matter what! Its clear its not what I wanted.. I need more..I need more of noise in my head,I need more of restless nights and days, I need more brain storming, I need more creepy friends, I need more of money, I need more of everything. I am not satisfied as billions of people. I will never be satisfied! That's me, today, tomorrow and always.